Body Safety & Pornography

Objective: For this lesson I want children to understand how special their bodies are; unfortunately some people might try to behave inappropriately, even towards children. As parents we do our best to protect our children, it is also important to give them the tools necessary to help them protect themselves. In addition to keeping their own bodies safe, it is important to explain pornography. Children need to know what to do WHEN they encounter it. This will help them to have more fulfilling marital relationships in the future, as well as prevents them from viewing bodies as objects for self-gratification.  

Note: These are serious and sometimes hard topics to discuss. However, they are some of the most important topics to address with children. As parents, many times we assume our children "just know" things. If we don't take the time to teach them, then they will get their information from the media and/or friends. If you feel uncomfortable talking about the subject research it beforehand (see Additional Resources) and find a balance that you feel comfortable talking about. 

Opening Song: The Lord Gave Me A Temple, Children's Songbook #153 

Closing Song: Nephi's Courage, Children's Songbook #120

Younger Children:

Body Safety

• Explain to children how special our bodies are. Help them understand that we came to Earth to have a body! Part of taking care of our bodies is keeping our bodies safe.
• Talk to your children and help them understand "good touching" (i.e. high fives, hand shake, hugs, etc.) versus "bad touching." Have kids think about wearing a swimsuit (if your children are very young maybe even pretend to swim around the room). Explain that they should not allow anybody to touch them anywhere their swimsuit covers. (Keep in mind to explain that parent's might need to help a child, but never alone or in an uncomfortable way. Also explain that a doctor may need to, ONLY if a parent is present.*)
• Also help children understand that IF somebody has already, or does in the future, touch them the most important thing to do is to TELL A PARENT. THEY WILL NOT BE IN TROUBLE. Parents are there to help children and keep them safe, that is our job!
• Practice with your kids yelling "NO!" if anybody tries to do anything that makes them feel uncomfortable. (You yell "No!" and have them repeat it. 

Pornography

• To help your children understand pornography by showing them the following video: What Should I Do When I See Pornography? (As you watch the video, is there is anything you need to clarify, pause and explain to your children.)
• After watching the video discuss it with your children. As them the following questions to see if they understood it:

                1. What is pornography?

                2. Is pornography good or bad?

                3. What will you do when you see it?

                4. Will you be in trouble if you've seen it? (NO!) 

                5. Have you seen it before?

                6. Any other questions you feel inspired to ask your children.

Older Children:

Body Safety

• Reiterate an understanding of inappropriate and appropriate touching. (See above.) 
• Help children understand that even touching our own bodies in sexually stimulating way is not what Heavenly Father expects of us. Many public school systems teach masturbation (my current school district calls it "private intimacy") as something that is okay and "normal." It is important to explain to your children that we have a better understanding of our bodies and because of this understanding of how special our bodies are, we treat them differently than others might. 

Pornography

• Show your children the video: What Should I Do When I See Pornography? Even if your children have seen it, show them again. Discuss and questions afterward.
• Explain that pornography can be in many forms, including literature. We have been asked to "seek ye out the best books" (D&C 109:7, emphasis added), this includes in our recreational literature.
• Consider reading quotes from some of the Additional Resources material. Or choose a talk to watch as a family. Discuss material/video afterwards.
• Emphasize with your children that if this is something they struggle with, you can help! They are still a wonderful person and there is help available to them. As a parent it is so important for your children to know that you STILL LOVE them.**

Additional Resources:

• Help for Parents
• Addressing Pornography: Protect, Respond, and Heal by Joy D. Jones
• Pornography by President Dallin H. Oaks, General Conference, April 2005
• A Tragic Evil Among Us by President Gordon B. Hinckley, General Conference, October 2004

    Scriptures

• 1 Corinthians 3:16-17
• Doctrine & Covenants 88:27-29

*For my family, my husband and I have discussed how, aside from Mom, if an area needs to be examined Mom should always be present as well. With Dad and/or with a doctor. Talk to your spouse and decide on what is best for your family. We chose this view because it helps make it clear to our girls that Mom needs to be present no matter what. It's not too complicated and something even young school age children can comprehend.  

** Consider arranging some one-on-one time with each child where you can blatantly ask them if they look at pornography. These could be a trip in the car to get ice cream, a hike with just the two of you, etc. A place where it is private yet you can ask how they are doing with both body safety and pornography. Having these one-on-one situations not only helps foster a relationship with your children, but it creates a safe environment away from siblings and/or other family members where a person might not feel comfortable speaking about personal struggles. 

Useful Tips for All Lessons:

• I love to use the Sing-Along app on my ipad/phone. It contains all the church Hymns and Children's songs in sing-along format with words and a moving ball for the timing. There are pictures that go along with each song, or you can customize the songs with your own pictures. It's a wonderful, easy app that I LOVE! Another benefit is the ability to make a Playlist in the app. I will quickly make a Playlist of particular songs I am using for a lesson so I don’t have to waste time searching for them during the lesson. It’s great!

• I also frequently use the Sacred Music App on my devices. It’s nice to have the choice of sheet music, words, or both for each song. I also use the Playlist feature to make songs easily accessible during lessons, as mentioned for the app above. 

• Last, but definitely not least, is the Media App. I use this when I am searching for a particular picture or video to help emphasize my lesson topic. Probably my favorite feature of this app is the ability to edit videos. So if I just want to use part of a talk given by a General Authority, then I can cut out the rest and have the succinct clip I need for my lesson. It really is the best! I also like the ability to put together “Presentations” in the “My Media” section of the app. I can save any media I want to use for a particular lesson and it’s all right there ready for me during the lesson.